One of the things that has given me the most laughs in almost any fantasy setting is the set of names created for the different characters involved. I firmly believe that movies such as Eragon would’ve been a bit less stupid if the names themselves were - perhaps - a bit less stupid. Watching many of the movies set in the fantasy genre, it would seem that the rules for naming go a bit in the direction of simply adding “or”, “ion” or something similar to the end of a random set of syllables. One neat trick seems to be grabbing anything from the languages that sound most ancient (like greek, latin or sometimes even asian languages) and then adding the epic-enhancing endings. An “x” also does the trick quite nicely. Just take a minute and look at some of the names in these movies, names like Damodar, Galbatorix, Ormaline or Profion. They all sound like medicine.

Then, of course, you get the characters that get regular names. You’ve got a bunch of barbarians with all their names ending in “AR”, “OR” and “OTH” and then there’s a guy named William or whatever. I’d suppose that the chances of a guy being named Bill or something regular-sounding like that during the middle ages are much greater than being named something like “Shaggmor the Unquenchable”, but after a whole series of clichéd fantasy names the regular names just sound out of place.

And then let’s not forget the guys that get comic relief names, which are frequently named after things, small animals or whatever the writer thought of first. Take the Dungeons & Dragons movie, for instance (a movie that clearly fits into the category of “I can’t believe they ruined this opportunity to make something cool”). You’ve got a whole set of characters with corny fantasy names, plus the guys with regular names and then you got a guy named “Snails”. Better yet, he’s played by Marlon Wayans (and you’d think they would’ve learned their lesson not to cast him in anything other than a horrible comedy - but then some moron decided he’d make a good G.I.Joe).

So you’ve got all these horrible fantasy names that I just love to complain about. But then we go and play our RPG campaigns or our MMOs and we get to name our own characters - and we do an even worse job. My personal pet peeve in those situations is people that use already existing names from their favorite stories - but modified. Names like “Gandolf” or “Druzzt” or “Pillow”.

And what about me?  Ever since I discovered the names Sauron and Darth Vader I have had to deal with the very real possibility that no other name will ever sound more bad-ass than those two. So I don’t even try. I use names like Belinga, Shadowschlong and Hoochie-Momma (the Caribbean voodoo priestess), and would much rather appear as if I’m intentionally trying to make them sound funny than actually attempt to give them cool names and accidentally end up with something funny-sounding.

So let’s start the week with something interesting in the comments: what’s the worst name in fantasy? It has to be from mainstream fantasy, not something you invented or saw over some WOW player’s head.

Good hunting;
O

NOTE: I actually think Madmartigan was a cool name, though. Somebody should name their kid like that.

. . .

Update on Arawn the Cat’s health:
I was allowed to bring Arawn home for the weekend and… well… it was a rough weekend. He barely moves, he can barely breathe and he’s definitely not eating. A while ago I had to rescue him because he had gone to get a drink and he just let himself collapse there with half his face in the water. The veterinarian had told me that Arawn was not going to be getting any better and that all I could do was just try to help him live his final days as well as possible - but I simply don’t see it happening. I tried giving him his medicine a bit earlier and it felt like I was killing him. I was considering taking him away to the vet’s right now, but he’s just so miserable there that I couldn’t force myself to making him spend the night there again. Nevertheless, I’m afraid to leave him here until tomorrow when I leave for the classes I have to teach at the university, so I’m going to let him sleep here tonight and take him to the veterinarian before going to work.

If there’s any possibility of him getting better, then I’ll go for it. But if this is as good as it’s gonna get, I think it would be better to just let the poor cat rest.

I’d like to thank all the people that sent me kind words of support and condolences. I realize that to many people Arawn is “just a cat”, but to me he had become something more like a best friend. I really do love that big black feline and that means that if I can’t make him better, I should at least be strong enough to not let it become worse.

Again, thank you everybody for your support. It means a lot to me. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Well… I hate to be the bearer of bad news - but it seems that Arawn the Cat will not be getting better.

After numerous tests and such showing absolutely nothing wrong with him, the vet decided to take an x-ray. What came up was a mass constricting Arawn’s lungs, and this led the doctor to make some additional tests. The results were not good. Arawn has Leukemia.

Arawn lives with me as an “indoor” cat since he was 3 months old but before that he was pretty much a street cat. He was thrown out of a car in a bag into the river and then rescued by the people in a local pet shop that no longer exists. I brought him home, cleaned him up and had him checked. He was healthy and has lived a pretty much healthy life ever since. Arawn could’ve contracted his disease during his brief life on the streets, but it’s a lot more likely that he had it since birth.

The veterinarian said that when they’re afflicted with this disease from birth, the body basically gets used to it and it won’t show up on a regular blood test (Arawn has even been vaccinated against feline leukimia). The cat basically lives a regular life and one day, for a multitude of reasons the disease just “kicks in”. After paying for a much more expensive test the results came in positive. There is - of course - no cure and it’s pretty much the worst thing a cat can have. Basically, he’ll start to grow weaker and weaker and eventually die.

Later today I’m supposed to go to the animal hospital and talk with the veterinarian. If Arawn can live a good life for what he’s got left of it then I’ll bring him home and try my best to adapt to whatever needs to be done in order to ensure that it goes that way. But if all he’s gonna do is get worse then I guess I’ll be having some pretty difficult decisions to make.

Also, there’s Pixie - the other cat. While she has all her vaccines and is an apparently  healthy cat, she lived at least a few days with us before getting all her shots. Since it is quite contagious, it probably means she has it too. Right now she’s just fine, but sooner or later she’ll go the same way Arawn is going. Even if is she is somehow miraculously free of the disease, I’d have to decide what to do with them both because living with Arawn would probably result in her being infected eventually (the vet said that those vaccines aren’t 100% effective).

That’s really all there is to say at the moment. I’ll let you all know how it gets at the veterinarian’s later today.

O

Somehow I was surprised that nobody mentioned the fact that the shadowy female elf from the last comic strip could’ve been the Perky Mistress. I thought the green eyes would’ve given it away - but then again I also believe that one day I shall live in a mansion with Samus Aran and Rei Ayanami as my wives.

Belief is a powerful thing, you know.

Anyway, thanks to all the people that sent me words of support and concern about Arawn the cat. The test results came in and fortunately there’s no liver damage. Added to the blood tests the only conclusion that can be drawn is that the cat simply doesn’t want to eat. The reason for this is still not clear, felines being as sensitive as they are. I really don’t recall anything special happening lately that might have caused him to decide to quit eating altogether, but nevertheless that’s what’s going on. So at the moment Arawn remains hospitalized and I can at least breathe calmly once again knowing that as long as he’s there he’ll be OK. He’s started to eat a little but still isn’t eating enough for the veterinarian to feel like it’s time for him to come back home. So now all I can do is go visit him whenever I can and hope he decides that food is good once again.

Oh, and of course, watching my money rapidly drain out of my wallet as I have to pay for each and every day he stays there. Clearly he’s not enjoying his time spent at the animal hospital, and I tried to explain to him yesterday that if he wants to leave all he has to do is eat. I’m pretty sure he’s not quite getting the message.

Good hunting;
O

We went to see the vet and unfortunately, Arawn the cat is not OK. It turns out that while his blood tests all look great and nothing seems wrong with him at a first glance, his liver is taking quite a beating with his constant refusal to eat anything. The veterinarian was very worried about the very real possibility of liver failure and Arawn had to remain hospitalized. Right now he is being treated and kept hydrated while the exam results for his liver come out. The vet says he can be there for a couple of days at least if his liver turns out fine and he decides to eat soon. But if there is liver damage or he simply won’t eat he could end up staying there for a few weeks.

Nevertheless the vet said Arawn is responding well to the treatment and that while he still  hasn’t eaten that it’s perfectly normal for it to take a while. The test results should be available later tonight or tomorrow, and by then we should probably know what to expect. I’ll post a update as soon as I find out.

Remember how last Monday I talked a bit about objectives for the week and all that? Well, we’re at the third day of the week and pretty much nothing has worked out as I hoped for. I guess that’s just the way life goes.

Most of my time has been spent with one of my two cats, Arawn, who has been incredibly sick with a bad case of the “we-have-no-idea-what’s-wrong-with-your-cat-but-here’s-medicine-for-you-to-give-him-all-week-just-to-make-sure-he-hates-you”. The vet said he had an infection but the blood samples he took came up with nothing - nevertheless the cat has a fever and isn’t eating. So he gave me some antibiotics that I’m supposed to give to the cat twice a day. So now, twice daily, I have to wrestle Arawn into submission and then I get to enjoy him skulking and hiding for the rest of the day until it’s time for the next struggle. Rinse and repeat until Friday.

Nevertheless, today I noticed something weird when the cat was taking a dump - and he seemed to be putting quite a bit of effort into it. So I got to wondering: what if he’s just constipated? I mean, people that get constipated get all feverish and lethargic and won’t eat, right?

Anyway, I’m taking the cat back to the vet this afternoon. The initial reason is to have the vet give him the medicine he’s supposed to take, but I’ll also be telling the guy about my constipation theory. I’m sure they probably have a way of checking if that’s the problem.

Other than that, I finally broke my keyboard badly enough so that it was no longer serviceable. It was already incredibly dirty, the letters were all faded, some keys were suspiciously smoothed out as if I had hit them just a little too much and towards the end of last year I literally broke the enter key. I’ve been told that I hit the keys too hard and that all the cat hair and dirt are just not good for the keyboard - but I find it hard to be so careful with a computer component that’s actually quite cheap for a change.

When I went yesterday to look for a new one, I decided that I wanted one of those slim keyboards that look like there’s no room for dirt in them. As it turns out, those are actually expensive. It’s the regular keyboard/dirt magnet kind that doesn’t cost much. And now I know why. So I bought a not-so-expensive-but-still-costs-more-than-the-regular kind of keyboard.

And I’m trying to go easier on it.

Good hunting;
O

NOTE: Today’s comic is just a pause from the RPG storyline, so don’t worry.  We’ll be back to The Adventures of Dwarf and Elf (and Weretiger!) next Friday.

Ah? What? A new week already?

Well then, let us begin. My objectives for this week are to finish everybody’s avatar (well… not everybody… just the people that paid for mugshots), finally complete the last parts of the last two commissions I still have pending and learning how to color so people look like they’re out in the sun during a beautiful day (if any of you have a good resource or tutorial on how to do that, it’d be very helpful).

If you don’t have an objective for this week, you need one. I don’t want to be the only dork here that sets out “objectives” at the beginning of the week. It makes me feel like some sort of self-help idiot.

So tell me your objectives.

Good hunting;
O