A furry Legolas… with knives

A furry Legolas… with knives

When you saw the Lord of the Rings (and I believe it’s safe to assume that you did) you probably imagined one of two things: that you were Aragorn or that you were Legolas. I’d suppose that through the books, there must’ve been at least a few people that wanted to be Gimli, but since the movie portrayed him more as a stumbling, clumsy, grumpy character that might’ve fit in much better with Snow White’s companions than with the Fellowship of the Ring then I’m inclined to believe Gimli was not likely to be amongst people’s favorites.

Some might imagine themselves as Gandalf - and I understand that perhaps some people like the idea of magic a whole lot. But Gandalf barely pulls off a couple of spells, and if one (or any) of the Istari are the characters you actually identify yourself with then your ego is probably bigger than it should be. If somebody came up to me and said he always imagined himself as Frodo, I’d just say that he’s a masochist. It’s not a matter of respecting people’s opinions, no. If you want to be Frodo, something’s wrong with you. And if you want to be Sam, well… I believe even a homosexual man would call Sam a subservient tulip.

So yeah, in general, most fantasy, RPG enthusiasts imagined themselves as Aragorn or Legolas while watching the movie - and while Aragorn had a certain air of nobility and grace surrounding him we all have to acknowledge that the best fight scenes definitely go to the elf. You got him kicking ass in melee, then you got him poking asses with his bow (I guess the actual “kicking” part of “ass-kicking” can’t be applied to the use of a bow… so I’ll go with “ass-poking”). And he not only looks awesome doing it, but he even manages to pull off a few stunts that can only be defined as being acrobatic while he’s at it.

Therefore it should be no surprise that when I drew the image of the Weretiger throwing knives at an Owlbear over Dwarf’s shoulder I was reminded of Legolas even in spite of the fact that I cannot recall the elf prince actually doing such a thing. Or maybe he did, I honestly can’t remember. Either way, I’m certain he could’ve if he wanted to.

Didn’t Aragorn throw a knife at least?

Anyway, that’s the idea that crossed my mind as I was drawing today’s comic, and the last panel just flowed naturally. It’s been a while since we poked fun at Al for technically being a furry.

Good hunting;
O
www.commissionedcomic.com

NOTE: For the record, I think furries are delightful people.  I still can’t deal with the mouthful of hair and even more with the fact that I avoid hair of my own as much as I can. So while I might even be considered the “anti-furry” because of my own personal choices, I still find them to be a fascinating bunch of people. Sometimes sexy, even. I mean… Merle. I’d hit that.

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You got flanked

I would like to propose “you got flanked” as the table-top RPGer’s alternative to getting “pwned”. We can also use the term “sneak attack” but then I suppose that one should only be used for the most intense of situations, when “flanked” just doesn’t seem like enough. It’s gotta be really intense, though.

Good hunting;
O

NOTE: I never really got into Counter-Strike (you know… where most people attribute the term “pwned” to have come from?), or any multiplayer experience for that matter. As the moment, my multiplayer gaming is limited to being invaded by Black Phantoms in Demon’s Souls - or as I like to call it: “some moron is trying to ruin my day, and on purpose!”. As you could expect, this doesn’t exactly help me warm up to the whole concept of multiplayer, at all.

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Still lame, but definitely Woo

I’d absolutely be willing to go as far as saying that Magic Missile is a “flagship spell”. Sure, it’d be a small, derelict, broken, leaky, ugly vessel that can only carry one person - but it’d be the fastest ship in the fleet. When the mage runs out of fireballs and everything else,  there’s always a Magic Missile left to be fired as a last act of desperation. It’s like that final shot in the dark signaling that while you might be defeated, you will never be beaten.

OK, maybe I’m romanticizing the crappy little spell, but the truth still remains that during the first levels of a character’s life, Magic Missile is easily his or her greatest weapon. Unlike rays, it never misses. And when you advance a bit you get to shoot out several of them at the same time - and towards different targets, even! Focusing them all on a single opponent can potentially do some pretty decent damage.

But that’s exactly where Magic Missile fails. Each one does 1d4+1 damage - and anybody that has played this game at least once knows that a four-sided dice is about as dependable as a Kobold’s courage. While you could potentially do something around 25 points of damage (not bad for a sure, single shot from a spell you can eventually learn to cast without components or even two times per round) having to roll a 4-sided dice for each missile also means you could just as easily deal only 10 points of damage. With a 4-sider, it’s probably gonna be the second option.

But still, be it high or low, it’s still a sure and definite hit (unless the target has spell resistance, in which case you’re screwed) and that’s why in our group Magic Missile is always used as a backup spell. As I said before, normally it’ll get fired at the end of a fight as some sort of last resort - but sometimes it also gets used as a coup de grace spell that allows you to deal that finishing hit from afar (a coward’s victory is still a victory!). Also, in our group you get to see Magic Missile used as decoration. Weak as it might be, the spell is still pretty cool and the fact that you’re basically shooting magic from your finger tips looks pretty damn awesome in my imagination. Which brings us to today’s comic. Sort of.

Playing Demon’s Souls there’s a basic, weak spell called “Soul Ray” or something like that. It’s pretty much a Magic Missile. So running around a level, diving for cover, rolling and firing those magic rays I started to feel a lot more like I was in some sort of shoot-out in a John Woo movie instead of a medieval fantasy world. I realize it sounds like something to criticize from the game, but it’s not. It’s actually incredibly awesome.

So, while I was playing I remembered how my players always use the Magic Missile as if it were some sort of gun - a gun that fires magic. And that’s where today’s comic comes from.

Good hunting;
O

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It could’ve just as easily be a penis joke

But I took the highroad.

Anyway… remember how like, last year during the middle of the year I had to format my PC and install Windows 7? And remember how that was an evaluation version that expired like, March 1st? Yeah… So I like, totally forgot about that (even though the computer reminded me several times a day) and ended up having to emergency-format my PC and get everything running again.

So today I had to post the comic in pencil, because sometimes the software (which will not be named) I need to have installed in order to color it just wants to be a little bitch and give me a bunch of problems before it finally decides to give in and work properly.

Oh well… I think everything’s under control now. Maybe.

Good hunting;
O

NOTE: If anybody suggests that I “use GIMP” I will hunt you down. I think it’s great that’s there’s an open source graphics program, but honestly, it’s not the same.

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Soul

I don’t really have an explanation for today’s comic. Sometimes my brain just goes into autopilot and I’m not really sure that technology is fully developed yet.

In truth, it’s just a random comic done for a little experimentation with illumination and contour colors. Results look interesting, but as before it’s not something I think would work for the comic. Personally I think the style currently being used for the RPG storyline is working rather well, but it’s still nice to try out new stuff.

We’ll be back on our regular storyline next Wednesday.

Good hunting;
O

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Law of NPC Relativity

If you asked me right now which would be my top, favorite, best video game of all time is I would probably answer (and quickly) CHRONO TRIGGER. Afterwards, you’d regret asking me the question as I’d proceed to list the different reasons why Chrono Trigger was so incredibly awesome and then I’d tell stories from the most memorable parts of the game (which would start to feel, after a while, as if it were the whole game). Then, I’d probably start thinking about other games, start considering other possibilities and making lists and discussing the pros and cons of each game. If you don’t participate in the discussion, I can just as easily argue with myself and make it into a monologue. But in the end, I always land on Chrono Trigger.

To me, no game has been as perfect as Chrono Trigger was back when I played it for the first time. That was back in 1998 or ‘99 (not sure), when I gave it a shot with a SNES emulator on my PC (ZSNES, oh how I love thee).    Even now, I still play through it at least once every couple of years or so. I find it to be a comforting game to return to after all the recent games I play, and even though after all this time I am pretty much familiarized with it I still manage to be surprised with the little details I forget between visits.

From there, I’ve played plenty of awesome games - but they always manage to screw it up even if just in the most insignificant thing. Chrono Trigger was not just amazing, it changed the way I saw video-RPGs and even managed to fix some of the things I hated from the genre that recent games still haven’t been able to overcome. Even the console it was on is arguably the best console ever - and let us not forget that the Chrono Trigger soundtrack is also to be placed among the best things to have ever graced my music player. I don’t believe a week has gone by during which The Brink of Time hasn’t played at least once.

Of course, declaring a video game to be “the best” is basically an open invitation to argument. Admittedly, Chrono Trigger did manage to touch almost every single RPG cliché imaginable. But the grace of it all is that it never feels clichéd. You’re playing a mute teenager saving the world- but the story never really felt as forced as it sounds. Right from the moment you bump into Marle the events that take place from there up until the very end just flow naturally, connecting to each other in pretty much the same manner stuff happens in real life where you suddenly find yourself knee-deep in crap and wondering how you got there without even noticing. Of course, you’ll have to buy into the premise that Lucca and her Dad accidentally built a time machine - but then again, if you’re not willing to suspend your disbelief for a bit then you really need to ask yourself why you’re playing video games at all.

RPG clichés are a funny thing, though, and you’ll find at least one of them in each and every game you try. Even a game like Demon’s Souls manages to make me wonder why exactly my character would’ve decided to save the world and why nobody else could’ve done it. I mean, Boletaria is practically filled with people that are or at least were ten times better suited for the job than my character was when he first entered the fog. Why couldn’t they advance in levels, get weapons and eventually kicked serious demon ass? (I’m looking at you, Ostrava) The only reason I can think for anybody to have entered that fog in the first place is that they actually wanted to die - in which case winning the game and surviving means you lose. There you have it: Demon’s Souls is so hard and unforgiving that even when you win, you actually lost.

But I digress.

If you look at the Grand List of Role-Playing Game Clichés you’ll find Chrono Trigger all over the place. Even when it’s not named you can still apply a lot of those to the game. But again, unlike most of the other games in the list, it never feels like it made a mistake when it falls into them. It just goes to show that clichés exist for a reason. If you haven’t read that list I just linked to already, make sure you don’t have any important work to do and check it out. You’ll spend most of the next few hours reading it.

And so, a lot of people have written emails and made comments about how Perky only seems to be useful in the comic when I apparently remember to make her so. It’s not the first time it’s happened - Perky has always been a victim and the only time she did actually do something it was because she was in a green bikini fighting a tremendously overweight drow elf chick (in an armor bikini -sort of). NPCs are suppose to be there to act as scenery, to help the story move along. They exist to get the players involved in stuff, not help them get through stuff. Then it just feels like you got through because they helped you and all the sense of accomplishment is lost.

Of course, in the middle of a gaming session having an NPC that has stuck with your group for days suddenly stand aside during each fight feels fake. So what I do is make them fight their own battles against extra enemies that are clearly not part of the actual player’s challenge. It’s just some extra fighting going on in the background and if the PCs want to, they can go get involved in that once they’re finished with their own problems. If the fight involves just one, big, challenging monster then the NPCs do actually fight it but I never count the damage they do or anything of the sort. It’s just decorative, after all, and I’m sure the players would not appreciate it if an NPC were to deliver the killing blow. Heck I hated it every single time Seifer delivered the killing blow in Final Fantasy 8 - and I was even controlling the guy that time!

So yes, that’s why Perky and Trannis seem to be completely useless. Because they’re NPCs. Simple as that.

Good hunting;
O

NOTE: It might not have sounded like it in the rant above, but Demon’s Souls is amazing. It’s like an extremely hot babe that that is so difficult to hook up with that it just makes you want her more.

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